What is happening here
A guest is looking for a chair, a place for her bag, a way to ask a question, and a clue about what happens next. Start with the shared scene rather than a diagnosis of somebody’s character.
Try it at the next gathering
Choose one visible adjustment and let people experience it before making a bigger policy.
Keep the category straight
Say whether the matter is a formal rule, a local agreement, or a social preference. That single distinction often changes the conversation.
Let a real table test the idea.
A rule, a tournament procedure, a house choice, and a social preference are not interchangeable. We say which one we are discussing.